5 tips for making it in Japan

No, I'm not talking about making out, ya damn pervert. There's plenty of advice on that if you look around.

What I want to talk about are just simple little things you can do to make living in Japan a little easier. Yes, I know most people read up on how to hang up laundry, divide your garbage and order a beer before coming here, but what about life itself, and your time at a Japanese company?

So here goes my list, a completely non-scientific/total BS guide to making it in Japan. Most of it is jokey, but IMO every one is pretty true no matter how silly they sound.

5 Tips:

1: Look busy. This is as simple as it sounds. In Japan the packaging always matters. Dress appropriately for your job. Keep your hair neat and bathe. And try to look like you're doing a lot of work, because that's what work means here - to be busy.

Whether you work at a huge investment firm or are hauling radioactive waste, remember: it's better to appear busy (and thus be assumed to be skillful), than to sit on your ass and do nothing, even if the net total load accomplished is the same. Chatting on a coffee break is OK, but don't stretch it out too far, and never sit in one place staring at a smartphone screen for 15 minutes even if it is about work; it doesn't matter - it looks like you're slacking off.

2: Walk fast. This kind of ties in to number 1, but I've found that in Japan (as well as the US and a lot of places), people who walk fast are assumed to be busy, doing shit, and raring to go. Does it matter that you're rushing off to take a huge dump? Nope. Just get there quickly. I personally attribute 40% of my success to my walking pace.

3: Wear glasses. Let's just face it, people with eyewear look smarter. Their opinions seem to matter just a little bit more, especially if they can pull off a semi-serious eyebrow raise. Bonus points if you can find a pair of glasses that are either just too nerdy for your style, or just a little too casual, or something else that feels mildly out of character for you.

4: Be the nail that stands out, a little. There are a million sites and books out there that go on endlessly about conformity in Japan - about how everyone wants and is expected to be and act just like the guy standing next to them. Wear the same suit when you start your job, cheer for the right team, like beer, stay late every night and all that.

That's all mostly true, but it's also a bunch of crap.

The nail that stands out will be hammered into place, but not if it stands out just a little. Enough to be noticed but not in a jerky way.

Be a team member but have real tastes and you'll be liked. Be a follower but know when to speak out and you'll be respected. Be polite except when you need to be rude. This is about the hardest line ever to cross once you've found it and feel like you fit in, but trust me, pure conformity is just as harsh and soul-draining as pure anti-conformity (tho it will get you farther in the short run). Japanese people and foreign "experts" will disagree, but the idea that all Japanese and gaijin who make it in Japan learn to conform is about as true as the idea that Japan is unique for having 4 seasons.

And last (for now), 5: Set your compass. I'm talking about a moral compass here, tho having a real one helps when wandering around Tokyo. This is probably true for anyone who moves to another country to live, but you have to know and expect to be tempted and tested more here than you would ever be back home.

You will be pressured and will find yourself bending rules you thought were at the core of your being before you left home. Trying out new things and learning to respect and cherish the new and different is great, but not when you compromise yourself.